Finally! Something that I can help with! I'd be happy to talk with her. I'm currently nursing my son (who was pretty easy) and nursed my daughter (who tried to starve herself). :D

Hey stranger! It's good to hear from you and thank you so much for being open to this. ♥

*waves to HB and her sis* I was thinking more about this in the middle of the night, while breastfeeding, lol, and I just wanted to chime in that breastfeeding can be HUGELY DIFFICULT and that is not uncommon. I just hate for your sister to think that this is unusual. Several of my friends and I had a really rough go with our first babies. *2 cents*

your two cents were worth far more. i've been blazing through the emotions lately, with frustration, upset, and self-doubt topping the list.

regardless, i am DETERMINED to breastfeed, solely, if possible. yep, spoken like a true parent - exchanging my own well-being for my child's.

PREFACE: please forgive my verbosity.

i'd imagine that hb told the story somewhere: that reason's own efforts to starve himself nearly succeeded. (it seems that he will learn early in life just how stubborn his mommy can be...)

at one-week old and during his stay in the pediatric wing, a traveling nurse/lactation consultant watched our efforts at the breast and suggested using a nipple shield (without sharing any cautions to its tendency to decrease milk transfer, cause nipple confusion, or advice about when and how to wean from using it). at the time, i didn't think to even ask about these things as it was successful in getting him to EAT - the main concern. and...at the breast, no less, which is exactly what we wanted!

roughly two weeks after our second hospital discharge, i was able to FINALLY schedule the visit from home-health. that nurse suggested weaning him from the nipple shield "as soon as possible" to maintain my supply or, if not wean, pump after each feeding. this took me by surprise.

just after the home-health visit, reason began eating constantly with crying jags and crankiness whenever he was removed from my [shielded] breast. sigh. we were both miserable, and i HAD to figure out why because it couldn't continue that way. the nurse told me it was probably a "growth spurt" and would stop in "a day or two." the doctor told me that reason was probably "making up for lost time rather than going through a growth spurt." more conflicting information...

dissatisfied with both offered explanations, i dug deeper and became more frazzled since all that digging was done with one hand...reason just wanted to eat and be held and eat and wail and pee. he never slept, and neither did i. nor was i free to eat much more than a granola bar with water until hubby got home from work to feed me. we struggled, yes, to say the least. i was worried again. the doctor's over-the-phone diagnosis was "possibly colic." we have an appointment with him today.

deciding it might be reason's way of telling me that he's not getting enough for his efforts, i started removing the shield through feedings yesterday. he seems cooperative thus far, but some questions have come up.

this one from his concerned auntie bunny: "but how do you know he's getting enough milk this time...that he won't end up back in the hospital?" [this prompted me to schedule another visit with THE SAME home-health nurse for later today. i want her to confirm that what we're doing is right - audible swallowing, correct latch, etc.]

in addition, my mother-in-law keeps quipping: "he's too thin." [1. not helping, and 2. now i'm planning to attend the breastfeeding families' support group meeting next wednesday. it's like aa, but for breastfeeders who want to succeed.]

and my own questions as, again, i've found only conflicting answers:

- how long should he spend at each breast? [i've been allowing him to eat as long as he wants at one, until he spits it out and refuses to open again.]
- one breast or two at each feeding? [i've been doing only one, but wonder/worry that this somehow negatively affects my supply.]
- must he be awakened every two hours during the day and every four hours at night? [i've been waiting for him to cue, but never let him go more than four hours (day or night) without waking him to try - so far, he hasn't refused at that mark.]

one thing that has been consistent in my findings is this - all kids are different. great...

as more questions arise, i will post to see if anyone knows.

I'm of the mindset to let the baby eat, and eat, and eat! Meaning that I usually offer both breasts at a feeding, since my son usually will refuse if he's full. Also, I let him nurse as long as he wants. Regarding the shield, I used a shield with my daughter for a while but was told by the lactation consultant to get rid of it ASAP since it does seem to interfere with mild supply (less stimulation of nerve endings, I believe). I tried that endless cycle of pumping after feeding to increase my milk supply with her, but it just exhausted us both. The shield I was given was silicone, and I was told that I could start trimming it back (since it won't get jagged edges) and gradually get rid of it. I ended up just trying to get her to latch without it, and only used it as a last result (ie in the middle of the night when we were both crying).

Also, if you feel like you aren't getting the support you need, there are usually lactation consultant help lines at the local hospital. They are specifically trained to deal with all breastfeeding issues and are usually vested in getting breastfeeding to succeed.

Finally, hopefully this will make you smile. From the Diaper Diaries joke book:

TEN THINGS HARDER THAN BREASTFEEDING:
1. Riding a Unicycle
2. Driving a delivery truck through the streets of Manhattan
3. Learning to write in Chinese.
4. Understanding E=MC2
5. Grasing the concept of Pokeman and YuGiOH.
6. Making hollandaise sauce.
7. Explaining the difference between a porpoise and dolphin.
8. Knowing when to use farther vs. further.
9. Swimming the butterfly.
10. Drawing a galloping horse!

:D

IN all seriousness though, please know that you'll get through this. If you want to email me, please always feel free (catcayman@yahoo.com) Kate

I breastfed all four of mine for varying lengths of time....it's been a while, but I'm happy help however I can....or just listen if that helps too. Whatever I can...

thank you
thank you
thank you!

I failed at breastfeeding due to the whole prematurity thing, but rhiannonhero is a huge proponent of breastfeeding and has a ton of resourses for new moms. I can point her in the direction of this post if you want.

*kisses you*

Yes, would you please leave a link to the post. I know she's going to try to check this post out tomorrow so anything would be welcomed!

It's been awhile (five years since I weaned the last one), but I did breastfeed both my sons, never used formula. I don't have any experience with nipple shields, but I'd still be happy to offer advice/assistance if needed. I also have lots of experience in working full time outside the home, breastfeeding and using a breast pump if she's going that route and has questions. :)

~Ellen

Thank you bunches Ellen, my love!

Hi! A great resource for breastfeeding is actually over on live journal, the breastfeeding community there is great. :)

http://community.livejournal.com/breastfeeding/

They would be full of specific advice about the nipple shield.

Also, www.kellymom.com is a wonderful site. Check out this from kellymom about nipple shields and weaning from them:
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/concerns/baby/wean-shield.html

Thank you so very much for dropping in with this info. I really appreciate it!

thanks for the lj link, hadn't seen that!

kellymom has become a site i frequent as often as my solo moments allow. the weaning page that you linked to is exactly what gave me the nerve to start weaning reason, following the somewhat urgent advice of the home care nurse.

i swear there is just so much conflicting advice out there...

I already said I'd love to help if I can, but I thought I'd chime in and make it official. I nursed both of mine and loved every single thing about it.

Although, I see that there are already some comms for her to visit, so that's probably going to be about as much info as she needs!

It seems like she had lots of good links and support now, but I'll just throw my hand up anyway.

I breastfed Zoë for the first seven months. I'm happy to help if I can. ;)

It sounds like there are a lot of great resources here, but thought I would chime in as well. If anything, just for support!

I breastfed both of my kids. No problems with my daughter, who came first, tons with my son. His experience sounds similar to Reason, even the trip back to the hospital when he wasn't gaining weight. It appears I am the second mom just in this post who experienced this, so know you are not alone.

I know any of us would be more than willing to talk!

i am truly interested in hearing about how you succeeded with breastfeeding even after the hospital visit. i posted our story way up there ^^^ in response to another comment. any similarities or thoughts regarding my questions?

thanks for any help!

First off - *big hug*
I remember being so tired, strung out and emotional during all of this. Pissed it wasn't working, scared for Ryan and dead ass tired. Yes, I was a joy to be around.

This was ten years ago, so probably horribly out of date...sorry...
We were kept at the hospital an extra day to make sure he was gaining, then we were sent back to the hospital two days after being home. The home visit nurse didn't feel he was gaining enough weight.

At first, I didn't notice any big difference in his eating vs. my daughter's. Maybe he just seemed a little lazier about it? Meaning didn't latch as hard or suck as strongly.

After meeting with a lac consultant, she showed me what a proper latch should be. Most times it would take 3-4 tries to get him to do it correctly. Just taking him off the breast and trying again. It took a good half hour to 45 minutes to feed him each time, always using both breasts. I was feeding him almost every hour - whenever he made a noise that sounded remotely hungry - but not going more that 2 hours during the day and three at night.
The first few days home, they even had me pumping what I could after feeding him, to keep production up.

I completely understand the never setting him down, I think Ry was attached to me for at least the first month. Odd as it sounds, it seemed like this was what he needed, so that is what we did. Some days I swear he nursed every half hour. This wasn't doctor recommended to me, just what worked for us. I remember drinking gallons of juice.

- how long should he spend at each breast? [i've been allowing him to eat as long as he wants at one, until he spits it out and refuses to open again.] - one breast or two at each feeding? [i've been doing only one, but wonder/worry that this somehow negatively affects my supply.]
It took me 30 to 40 minutes, with longer time spent on the first breast. Nurse on one side till he slowed down, burp him (sometimes this was a second burp), move to the other side though he would never eat as much. Next time, start with this breast. I don't even know what is recommended now, but this is what worked for me. The breast I didn't nurse was too uncomfortable for me if I didn't nurse at both...
- must he be awakened every two hours during the day and every four hours at night? [i've been waiting for him to cue, but never let him go more than four hours (day or night) without waking him to try - so far, he hasn't refused at that mark.]
I think this is important. I was told that sleepy wasn't necessarily a sign of being full, in fact it can be the opposite, so it was really important to wake him and feed him.

Bunny said you got a scale? We did too, for our own peace of mind. We weighed him at the same time every morning...buck naked. I found it comforting to know what was going on.

The mom in law? Oh honey, I feel your pain. My mom didn't think nursing was even a good idea, so it was constant barrage. "If you used formula, you would know what he was eating." "You are feeding him too often, how is he every going to learn to sleep through the night" "never wake a sleeping baby, he will cry if he is hungry" Blah, Blah, Blah.

I wish I had more specific advice. Basically I just held him 24-7 and constantly fed him for the first month or two. Yeah.
*sorry*

My sister has used La Leche consultants (mostly free) and has joined in various groups to meet people about this (around here they meet in Bagel shops and restaurants). My neice is almost 17 months and still being breast fed not as primary food more for extra immunities and calming and more bonding time with Mama. The best thing it has done so far is make it so she show no signs of the Glutton alergy that runs heavily on her Fathers side. Nor has she shown any signs of the Juvinile Diabetes that killed her father when my sister was 10 weeks pregnant. FYI I have noticed my sister feed 1 side per feeding and will switch dor the next feeding. Keep breastfeeding its an amzing thing and try looking for La Leche groups near you. They seem to help the most for my sister.